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WELCOME TO APPLEBEES MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER. DID U SAY “A PLATE OF SPIDERS” TOO LATE HERE IT COMES. U HAVE TO EAT IT ALL OR WE CALL THE COPS
— ben errrrrrrrrrrrrrr (@MuscularSon) May 5, 2011
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WELCOME TO APPLEBEES MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER. DID U SAY “A PLATE OF SPIDERS” TOO LATE HERE IT COMES. U HAVE TO EAT IT ALL OR WE CALL THE COPS
— ben errrrrrrrrrrrrrr (@MuscularSon) May 5, 2011
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hi I wanna send package *slaps wriggling sack onto counter* “sir, what’s in here?” HAHA millipedes?! NO this is…cake. wats obamas adress
— R. Mouse (@Rad_Mouse) January 13, 2013
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WHO SUMMONE D WRESTLERS TO MY YARD.I DESPERATELY NEED STOMACH MEDS AND IM AFRAID TO GO LEAVE HOSUE.MY BIRDBATH HAS ALREADY BEEN SUPLEXED
I made a comic.
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just seductively ate a popsicle by having it melt all over my face haha these bees are goin nuts they’re so horned up
— Alison Stevenson (@JustAboutGlad) January 9, 2013
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*puffs cigarette* there was a time dudes on twitter asked me for nudes *ashes cigarette into soup* but times is changed *walks into ocean*
— Kaylee Harles (@Kalarlis) February 6, 2013
Tumblr is hosting a competition looking for a Tumblr page to publish as a book. This is my entry submission for Twitter: The Comic. I have about 100 tweets in my queue waiting to be drawn, and a book deal would be a good excuse for me to quit procrastinating on them. But enough about me. How are you doing today? You doing alright? You following your heart? Follow your heart, everyone. Make it rain liquid money and swim off into the horizon.Twitter: The Comic is a collection of comics based on the greatest tweets of our generation. The source material is used verbatim, typos and all. Despite the seemingly random nature of the tweets, the comic has reoccurring characters and story arcs that aren’t fully understood unless experienced through a single reading. With explicit permission from the writers of each comic, Twitter: The Comic could be a pretty rad book.
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president obama…..isnt it fucked up and weird to try and imagine two pterodactyls having sex. imagine the noises. i dont have a question.
— GENERAL GANDHI (@Bro_Pair) October 21, 2012
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wait unicorns arent real? are u saying I SUCKED OFF A REGULAR HORSE???
— nick mullen (@nickmullen) February 27, 2012
yea i do crimes; i’m a real bad kid. they even got me for possession once *eyes roll back into head, everything in the room begins to float*
— mourning dove (@petfurniture) December 9, 2012
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*hand u a note* “has science gone too far y/n” *u look back, i am a bird w/ human arms*
— BOOtsy collins (@idiot_teen) January 6, 2013
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BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @lttundra
— Anti-Sexism Ghost (@AntiSexismGhost) February 8, 2013
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*puts AAA batteries on checkout stand, brain says ‘Don’t say it’s for a pube trimmer, don’t say pube trimmer’* These are for a pube trimmer
gordon ramsey strugglin 2 navigate his way off of a 15-mile-wide pizza
— ]|[™Sexty™Colum™]|[™ (@sex_colum) February 4, 2013
Two great comics by @twoshoelacesRomney goes to the zoo “wtf is that” he says as he points at a giraffe, “Mexico? Is that Mexico? Is Mexico real”
— ばか (@dog_as_hell) October 23, 2012
(Source: oneshoelace)
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“I just learned what reverse psychology is.” * #WiseTeen darkslides down curb * “How about you don’t go fuck yourself, mom.”
— kellan (@look_aGhost) June 6, 2012