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*bear in scrubs walks into waiting room*”Sorry to be the bear-er of bad news but I’m a bear and your son died cause bears can’t do surgery”

— Joe (@lazy_joe_) May 12, 2013

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*starts jamming entire fist into mouth* is this what you want, twitter? *forces hand in down to wrist, tears in eyes* ifth thf whufyou wunt

— grouper fintendo™ (@grouperfintendo) March 28, 2013

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“I’m a lover not a fighter” I say, sliding my fully erect member into the boxing glove as my horrified trainer looks on.

— Urple Pingo (@UrplePingo) October 3, 2012

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Last question.Obama what about womens rights?Wo-I got this *Biden steps in* women have titys *puts on shades* I love titys, we love titys

— Pajama BenLaden (@PajamaBenLaden) April 9, 2013

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this is your brain *an egg* this is your brain on drugs *egg in frying pan* this is your brain skateboarding *egg on a skateboard* haha nice

— the dog pissperer (@bro_no_way) November 12, 2012

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“dead space more like dad space” dad gimme back my xbox “more like call of daddy” get out of my room “more like grandfather auto IV” stop

— 808s&Human Sacrifice (@CRIMEGOLEM) January 21, 2013

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being gay is unnatural & wrong [an aide comes next to me & whispers in my ear] ive just been informed that being gay doesnt mean hating dogs

— Stepheñ (@JevenSteakobson)

April 16, 2013

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@vectorbelly Oba-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma

— Ace… Ace? (@AceMakesWords) April 13, 2013

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“Hi folks, I’m Swamp Thing. As you know, I like the environment. But there’s nothing “the environment” about childhood obesity”

— DVS(@DVSblast) July 13, 2011

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“Do you have protection?” *i place my shiny charizard on the nightstand* “no one will be buggin us babe”

— luv 2 have fun (@dong_party) January 26, 2013

Instead of a comic based on 140 characters, here’s a cartoon I (@vectorbelly) made based on 4,000 characters!

cartoonhangover:

Cartoon Hangover presents “Our New Electrical Morals”
Douglas and Business Cat must forestall bankruptcy when a dumb baby comes bouncing into their lives, ringing in a new age of economic failure. In this timeless tale, Douglas and Business Cat must use friendship to battle capitalistic idealism and existential angst in order to save their business and the baby from a rough life on the rails.

Created by: Mike Rosenthal

Subscribe to Cartoon Hangover for more cartoons

(via vectorbelly)

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Alas poor Yorick! *holds up skull* *pauses* *holds up another skull & turns it to face the first* …………………. *whispers* now kiss

— Georgene (@Giania) March 14, 2013

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watch tv, quietly saying “THIS fuckin’ guy” every time anyone comes on screen

— Томояяош’s cнıʟD (@dudehugs) March 15, 2012

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first rule of fight club is no fightig. welcom to contradicton club evryone hav a seat adn dont hav a seat. also this isnt contradicton club

— jomny sun (@jonnysun) February 27, 2013

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U BETTER GET THESE SHITS OUTTA MY YARD “those are pinecones man” WELL YR GONNA PINECONES YR PANTS WHEN MY SHIRTLESS SON WHIPS U W/ THIS HOSE

— the creature (@BlackLagooner) February 20, 2013